A Farwell to Mother

THE LEGACY OF OUR MOTHER
MRS. PHILOMENA NWANKECHI OKOLO,
“WIN” UMUAGBAGALA, OMEOKACHIE
Re: Working Woman; Woman Activist; Fighter for Social Justice and Gender Equality; Philanthropist and Religious Activist

Mama died on Mother’s Day, May 8, 2005 after a glorious life that spanned over ninety years. She passed into the Lord, in the care and eternal bliss of Our Father. She passed away peacefully in the hands of Felicia after she had gone to bid farwell to Franka at Obosi. More importantly, she passed away just days after she came home from the tender and loving care of Philo at Enugu who laboriously managed and supervised her sunset years. She died loved and beloved by her children, grandchildren, sister, brother, and numerous other relatives, loved ones, friends and admirers – many of whom are gathered here today and this week to pay homage to her and to thank God for her life and blessings.

Mama as you are resting in heaven, in the bosom of the Lord, in the company of our father, Chief Lawrence Nwankwo Okolo, your great and loving husband, we are sure that two of you will not forget us here – your children and loved ones to whom you devoted your earthly lives here to raise, nurture and uplift. We are therefore, sure that you will continue to offer protection, guidance and wise counsel to all of us here as we continue to go through the struggles of this life. Mama, we are thankful to God and proud of you because you led a very fruitful and exemplary life. By your words and actions, you taught us the great values of life. The life values that have and will continued to guide us through life. Your main virtues were your incredible vision, foresight and eternal wisdom, your philanthropy and generosity, your unrelenting energy and drive to reach out, help and care for those who are less fortunate than you.

Mama, I am ever proud of you because you embody the most admirable traits and ideals of the modern woman while adhering to those enviable qualities of our traditional woman. Mama was thus a healthy cross of our traditional Igbo woman in an emerging modern-colonial Nigeria. My mom was perhaps, the most obedient, the most congenial and the most helpful housewife I ever knew. She was thoroughly devoted to her husband whom she completely respected, admired and eternally adored. I married my wife, Chika Eunice Okolo in 1969, that is, some thirty-six years ago, which means that I have some ideas about marriage and married life. So I can say with some experience that my late father, Chief Nwajiaku Okolo was one of the luckiest persons on earth because no better gift would God ever give to any man than a fully dedicated wife. A man who has a loving, understanding wife behind and by his side would climb any mountain no matter how high or emerge from any valley no matter how deep or low that life confronts him with.

Mama was a perfect congenial complement to my dad. They were perfect soul mates; and were certainly among the few truly complementary couples that God, in His infinite wisdom, omniscience and omnipotence, often blesses the world with. Thus, while we called her mama and called our dad papa, mama always called papa, “Nnanyi” which literally means, “our father” because to mama, papa was the undisputed and supreme head of the household. I have never seen any other woman who held her husband in such awe. All talks to or about papa were with greatest reverence which, in a sense, became infectious to us. Correspondingly, Papa was equally truly reverential in all his statements, references, talks to or about her. The result was that we saw two adults who lived in a state of mutual state of deep love, care and respect for each other such that I never saw or heard them talk loudly or disrespectfully to each other till I left home after I graduated from high school and proceeded to Port Harcourt to live with my uncle Barrister P.A. Okolo who was then the Comptroller of Customs & Excise in the city.

The point of this brief information is that we lived with a woman who created and generated a consuming atmosphere of love, mutual respect, care and admiration in the home – features that became infectious with the children as we were growing up in the house. I am therefore, eternally proud of my parents and grateful to them because they created and raised us in the richest family in Nigeria. We were certainly not rich in material things, but my family was superrich in love, mutual care, structure, etc – those features that give children the psychological stability necessary for growth and balanced development. Thus, the first important legacy of mother was her model of the ideal home that she created and nurtured us in – a home over flowing with mutual abundant love, shared values of human kindness, honesty, communality, empathy and care for others, deep religiosity and guidance by the cardinal rules of the ten commandment.

However, while mama truly loved, honored, respected and adored her husband, papa, she did not accept the role of a stay-at-home mother. Mama knew that economics is too important in the life of a family to be left to the husband alone. Thus, she became a very active economic partner of her husband in the family – a role she played seamlessly and quite admirably because it did not interfere, in any way, with the exalted and highest pedestal she placed her husband. It was an amazing feat, a remarkable talent and accomplishment that amazes me as I ponder it today even as a political economist and a professor of social sciences. Many men would be thanking the stars if their wives made even a fraction of her economic contributions in the family.

A popular trend in sociology and demographic studies today is the rise of working women and two income families because of the imperatives of the women to work outside the home for income. Scholars and policy makers talk of these as new phenomena while my mother had been working from ever since I could remember. My mom was thus the first working wife or woman that I can think of. She was in the retail tobacco business – ground tobacco, also known as utaba for snuffing in addition to selling retail tobacco leaves. Women usually sold ground tobacco known as utaba while men sold tobacco leaves in boxes and/or retail. Mama sold utaba plus retail tobacco leaves and their accessories. She always had a shed in Onitsha main market starting with the old Onitsha main market before the present one was built. I loved to visit her tobacco stall at the old market in the 1950s so that she would buy me snacks. Also, some weekends, she sent me to do the selling for her which I loved to do because I would buy food, especially oyoyo rice, some snacks including egg (kwoikwoi) with the money I made that day.

Mama was quite a successful retail tobacco trader by the standards of the time. In addition to having an ever increasing number of constant and repeat customers who relied on her and always came for their supplies, mama also had “wholesale” customers who came from other parts of the country to buy from her. Mama has a number of such customers from the north, west and the Midwest. She even had international customers from surrounding countries -- Cameroon, Togo, Niger, Ghana, Sudan, Niger, e.t.c; and the times they came were usually very hectic periods in the family as mama frantically prepared for them by grinding extra quantity of tobacco which they would purchase. The wholesale customers bought such large quantities of ground tobacco, in tins, from mama that every child in the family had to be involved in preparing and grinding the tobacco. Thus, mama not only all of us in tobacco business, she also introduced many members of the larger Ugapue family and her own Analikwu family in tobacco and utaba business --business that many of them are still do and thrive on. In fact, it is to the eternal glory of Almighty God that one of the men in the town today – Igiligi – is a tobacco mogul, a business he learnt from mama’s junior sister, Mrs. Lily Okoye. So as long as those family members and loved ones engage and thrive in tobacco business, mama shares in their success, progress and happiness.

“Win” Umuagbala and Omeokachie
Finally, was popularly known “Win” Umuagbala and Omeokachie. These were titles she acquired in the course of her life because of some specific noble and cherished acts she performed in the community. She got the title “Win” after she led a successful protest against the leadership of community women organization who made a law that mandated that women who went to tend to their daughter after a new birth must pay specific tributes when they came back before they would be allowed to rejoin the organization again. Their normal practice was that usually threw parties for the organization to introduce their new babies or after they had been out of town tending to their after new births. Mama felt that such understandings and practices were good and useful. In fact, she threw a couple of such parties herself when my younger siblings were born. In fact, the fun and best memories of my early childhood included the weekends when mama threw parties for her women organization when my sisters – Philo, Felicia, Franka and my brother Law were born. I have not included Teresa, my immediate junior sister, who now lives in Dallas, Texas with her family because I do not really know much about that phase of her life.

The point is that the occasions were very festive weekends with lots of food, drinks, and songs, hand-clapping and merry-making. They were very happy, blissful and joyful weekends with lots of delighted, exultant, jovial, beautiful and colorfully dressed women dancing, singing and clapping in the compound. The formal celebration usually started on Sunday morning when her close friends and relatives would come and escort her and the new baby to the church at Holy Trinity Cathedral (Roman Catholic Church) because the occasion was usually also the first time the new mother and her new baby would leave the house. I particularly remember that her sister and my favorite auntie, Mrs. Lily Okoye were always present at those occasions. She is a beautiful elegant lady and she would come on Sunday morning in her own attractive and gorgeous colorful dress adorned with gold and ornaments. Auntie often carried the baby as they escorted mama to the church. When I say escorted, I want to emphasize that I mean walked mama to the church because by that time – in the 1950s – cars or taxi cabs were extremely rare. Actually, we did not have a car and I do not know of any relation or friend of us then that had a car. In retrospect, I can now think of only three or four people in my town Abatete that had a car then. So mama’s women friends and relatives led by my auntie, carrying the new born, would walk mama to the church. Most of the other women were also adorned with gold chains, ear rings and ornaments. Those pleasant periods were etched in my memory which was why I loved my siblings and longed for more of them because I knew that each new baby brought another round of extravagant partying and other blessings to the house. The point is that those parties were joyous, healthy and useful occasions. Mama and everyone in the family anticipated, loved and enjoyed them. While most of the food, ingredients and other materials – meat, chicken, yam, bags of rice, beans, etc. – to be used in the ceremonies were often bought by Papa during the week, he always went to our home village, Abatete, during weekends because he never spend the weekends at Onitsha, the city where we were born and raised. More importantly, the ceremonies were women and children affairs and nothing was required of men except that the women recognized through their songs and prayers that their ultimate host was the husband of the house who was not physically present.

It is however important to state that the parties, celebrations, etc., were all voluntary. No mother was compelled to throw the party and there were no specific requirements of what must be provided at the party. In other words, there was nothing obligatory about the party. It was all voluntary and discretionary -- both on whether to throw the party at all and/or what to provide or give the participants at the party. My mom wanted the practice to remain optional, voluntary and discretionary as it was. She was therefore upset when the leadership of the women organization pushed through a law that would make the party obligatory and mandated that specific edibles, drinks, etc., must be provided the women for the occasion. She thought they were wrong and said no. She felt that the decision was unfair, unjust and inequitable; and she thereupon set out to organize the community to strike down the law.

Mama’s logic against the law was simple. She reasoned that while the party was good, enjoyable and useful for those who could afford it, that making it mandatory would impose untold burden on the many who may not be able to throw such parties. She argued that she knew that there were many families who found it difficult to even feed the new born, let alone throwing expensive parties for others.. Therefore that a law that made the parties mandatory would harm harm many in the community and could lead to many unpleasant consequences. I particularly remember the Sunday evening when mama came home from their meeting that took the fateful decision. Mama was furious when she came back from the meeting. Papa was not home. He had gone to the village at Abatete where he usually spent the weekends and returns to Onitsha on Sunday nights. So when mama came back from the meeting and was complaining furiously to us the kids about the decision at their meeting. I was about ten years old, then and the oldest of the kids in Onitsha so I did not really understand what she was saying or why she was quite upset.

Later, when Papa came back that evening, mama complained and explained the problems to him which papa understood and joined in her anger. Thereupon, papa also setup to organize and campaign against the law. The most important thing Papa did was to involve his very good friend, Chief Akunwanne, who lived next block to us then in Onitsha and who often visited him in the evenings. Both men agreed that the law was wrong and must be reversed. They took the case to the men’s organization and after some rigorous debates and contentions, the men’s organization formally voted down the rule and then forced the women’s group to rescind or nullify their law that made those parties mandatory. It was after that process that mama earned the title “Win” from the community for her vociferous, determined and principled stand against unfair and unjust laws against the less fortunate members of the community. Thus, my mom was a social activist and a fighter for social justice. The title “win” was thus very important to her. It literally became her name which she answered with pride and joy anytime. Actually, many in the community, simply knew her as Win – the old and the young, male and female; and when they see me or my other siblings, they simply say, Oh you are Awi’s son or daughter. Awi is just a local, vernacular variation of Win but both mean the same thing.

Mama’s battle for her tobacco shed.
The other major social battle mama fought was to keep her tobacco shed in the new Onitsha main market after the old one was demolished and the new one built. Like most things in Nigeria then and even now, the tobacco industry was male dominated; and like I said earlier, mama had a shed in the old Onitsha main market which was demolished and replaced with a new massive modern mall-like structure dubbed, “the biggest market in West Africa.” The structure is huge and massive by any standard and there is virtually no merchandise one cannot find and buy there. People come from all parts of Nigeria and neighboring countries to buy whatever they need from there because Onitsha traders order wholesale from manufacturers across the globe. Mama was again allotted a shed in the new structure, after which “some foolish men”. as mama called them organized to take the shed away from her on the grounds that she was not a man. Their logic was that only men were entitled to a “full shed” in the new mall. They instead offered her an “attachment shed” which literally means that someone who has a title to a shed could rent a small space to her for a fee to him.

Mama flatly rejected their offer as ridiculous and insisted on having her own shed with full title as of right. Of course, there were divisions within the male rank between those who supported the move to deny mama a shed versus those who think that mama has a right to her shed. Mama called those who opposed her right to the shed, “some foolish men” and went into full “battle” with them. Mama was a gentle spirit who never believed in violence but was a social being and an ardent and consummate organizer. She fought the men against her through social-political and legal means. She organized her male and female supporters in the community, talked to and befriended some policy and political officers and officials of the city government and finally took them to court with legal representation that was offered free by the best lawyers in Onitsha then who were all men – some of them she knew while others were the husbands of her friends or friends of her friends.

Mama was really furious at the men who wanted to eject her, because some of them were really men she had helped to set up their own tobacco business who then suddenly felt that mama had no right to be in the business just because of her gender. We had no experience of racism in Nigeria because Nigeria is racially homogenous but sexism was rife in the system and mama was experiencing the brunt of it in the tobacco business..

The case attracted many to the court – men, women, lawyers, etc – in support of mama and many were happy and jubilated when the judge ruled in mama’s favor. It is interesting again, to note that the favorable judgment demonstrated mama’s magnanimity because she immediately plunged her abundant energies into redeeming and rescuing the same men who had fought against her and them became confused, ashamed and demoralized by their “defeat” by a woman. Mama had to counsel some of them who became depressed and despondent. I remember mama talking to one depressed and dejected loser that he must pull himself up and continue the business because he has a family to feed and support.

Mama’s battle to own her own tobacco shed in the new Onitsha main market is phenomenal, striking and informative. First, it was a watershed in Nigeria’s struggle for social justice in general; and specifically, in the struggle for women’s equality. Mama continued to own her tobacco shed in Onitsha main market unto her death. My sister, Felicia will continue to hold the shed in trust for me as she has been doing since mama’s retirement from active trading.

I am particularly proud to note that members of Tobacco Traders Association, Onitsha Main Market, have come out in full force to honor, respect and celebrate the glorious life of one of their founding charter members. I was fully briefed by Felicia of your strong desire and promise to actively participate individually and as an organization in the burial, funeral activities and processes of this great lady and your honored founding member. I also feel personally proud and honored by that information and your decision because I have been personally involved in the tobacco business since the 1950s when mama use to send me to go and trade for her. So, I still consider myself a tobacco trader, and I hereby pledge to you all, in the name of my mother, that we will continue to be strong and viable members of the association. I personally will finance the continued retention, maintenance and viability of the shed. This is a pledge which I am making before you all today.

To fully appreciate mama’s legacy in the tobacco industry, it is imperative that the association should have a historical introspection if itself so that it can appreciate social growth it has made. If you look at your association or walk through the tobacco section of Onitsha, it is always pleasing to see many women owning their own sheds in the industry – not just as appendages and attachments – but fully owned women’s sheds. The important thing is that today it is normal for women to participate on equal basis with their male counterpart and many women do. I therefore salute our women who have risen up to the challenge; and I also salute the men who have grown and accepted such a change as inevitable, useful and functional. More importantly, I salute mama, a leading stalwart and pioneer in the struggle for women equality. I therefore urge all the women members of the association to salute the foot soldier who fought, was maligned and went to court to secure a place for herself so that you people do not need to fight for your rightful place today. I also urge the men to salute the pioneer soldier who fought and won the battle for your women to work beside you in the tobacco industry today making their own enormous economic contributions without you people feeling despondent and depressed as was the case in the 1950s. So there is enough for everyone to be thankful for. But God is the Almighty and to Him, we must all give our ultimate thanks.

How Mama Acquired Omeokachie Title.
I am going to be brief here, but it is also important to understand why and how mama acquired Omeokachie title. Omeokachie in Igbo language means someone who repeatedly does great things. Mama did many great things for the larger Ugapue family and for the community that it is really difficult to know where to start in this very brief presentation. When our great grandma, Odudieme died in 1968 during the war, papa and his other sons were flat broke and did not have the money for her burial and funeral ceremonies, it was mama who stepped up and funded her entire burial and funeral expenses. That was not a responsibility that women or wives usually shoulder in a family. Rarely do women or wives contribute financially to the burial/funeral ceremonies of their mothers or mothers-in-law but to bear the entire expenses is quite rare to say the least. Mama did it for Odudieme, her mother-in-law simply because she could and the men could not. Mama therefore deserves special recognition for that and the larger Iyaba family must remain grateful to her for that.

However, what clinched the Omeokachie title for her was when she bought and paid for eight Ozo titles for the larger Ugapue family. She distributed the titles as follows: to her two brothers-in-law – Uncle John and Uncle Felix; my late senior brother, Stephen, my humble self, Amechi and her step son, Obiekwe. Three are still outstanding which I will distribute between Law, Ejike, her step son and my son, Uchenna. The Ozo names for the five that were concluded are: Ozodigwe for Uncle Felix, Ezenwanne for Uncle John; Ezennaya for Stephen; Ezechikwelu for Amechi and Eze Etusi Onu for Obiekwe. It was after the initiation ceremonies for the above Ozo titles that she acquired Omeokachie title herself – again signifying someone who repeatedly does great things because no one had ever bought eight Ozo titles and initiated five of them at the same time. Mama did it and for which she was aptly rewarded with Omeokachie title. Till date, I will be glad to know if and when that record is broken.

Mama’s contributions to the education of her children and others
I know that mothers generally contribute a lot to the education and development of their children. It is perhaps expected that mothers should contribute to the educational development of their children and therefore, may not deserve any special recognition and tributes.

However, mama clearly went beyond the normal call of duty in her struggles to ensure that her children and some others had good education. In all honesty, I will not be standing before you today as a professor of social sciences if I had just a regular mother who supported their children in regular normal ways. It was because of mama that I went to high school right after elementary school. The family had decided that I should spend another year after my standard six because I did not pass the entrance exams to the top high school they liked and the decision was completely acceptable to me. I was, in fact looking forward to lots of free time to play soccer throughout the next year when mama suddenly appeared and grabbed from the playing field that I was truly enjoying. She pulled me aside and said to me, “You are playing now, what are you going to do after the Christmas vacation when we go back to Onitsha?” And I said to her, “mama, but I thought that it had been agreed that I would spend the next year taking entrance exams to high schools?” Then, she said, “you idiot, come-on, follow me,” as dragged me to the house.

I never knew that mama did not approve of those decisions all the time that it was being discussed and agreed with dad. I do not know and I never found out if she discussed the next line of action she had planned to take with me, but she gave me money and proceeded to give me detailed instructions of towns and high schools I would travel to seek immediate admissions. That was how my December 1959 Christmas vacation in Abatete abruptly ended on December 27, 1959. Mama had done her thorough homework, and by following mama’s instructions, I was able to travel alone to Oguta and gained admission into Trinity High School, Oguta. I had never been to Oguta before, or even traveled alone outside Onitsha, but mama gave me enough directions and guides to travel Oguta, talk to the Principal, Reverend Phis Patrick and convinced him to give me immediate admission or what was by then called, “late admission.” That was how I started my high school admission and I changed to two other high schools in two different towns, Ihialla and Nnewi before I could finish the five year program. Mama was on top of me throughout the high school years and it was clearly because of her timely interventions with my principal, Dr. Akweke Nwafor-Orizu at Nnewi that I was able to complete my high school education very successfully and on time. Others helped to pay my tuition fees and other expenses, my dad and especially, my uncle Barrister P.A. Okolo, but it was clearly mama who laid the foundation and did the groundwork for that educational success. I therefore salute her, with all sincerity, humility and appreciation.

Mama’s herculian and highly imaginative efforts were not limited to me. It was clearly her pattern which is why we are all specifically indebted to her. She did the same thing for Stephen. It was due to her friendship with Mrs. Awgu, that she was able to secure a high school admission for Stephen into New Bethel college, Onitsha. She also did the same unbelievable feat for Teresa to get her into Cedes Sapintia Secondary School, Oghe.





So, ladies and gentlemen, that is a brief record and legacy of mama, Mrs. Philomena Nwankechi Okolo, “Awi” Umuagbala, Omeokachie. Meanwhile, you may also like to know that I am working on the biography of this very remarkable woman – a woman who without any formal education clearly understood the confluences and intricacies of the social fiber and effectively worked and utilized them to solve some critical social problems of the time that would be the envy of any progressive men and women today.


Thank you and God bless.



© Professor Amechi Okolo, Ph.D.
Ezechikwelu, Odenigbo-Odenolu
New York.
For and On Behalf of the Larger Ugapue Family